


Star gazing

by lojo



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M, depression fic, oh well, this is not as sad as I meant it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 02:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6176644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lojo/pseuds/lojo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stargazing and love confessions. Short and sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Star gazing

"Why is happiness ephemeral?" Kaworu asked and Shinji didn't respond. Sometimes Kaworu wasn't looking for an answer; he just needed to voice his thoughts. They were sitting quietly in Kaworu's room. 

"The harder you try to hold on to it the harder it is to keep" Kaworu continued. Shinji found himself agreeing. Everything seemed covered by a fog, including his own emotions. It was hard to remember what being truly happy felt like. It was fleeting. 

"Maybe it's like a little bird" he said without thinking. 

Kaworu tilted his head and gestured for him to continue talking. The brunet fumbled with his MP3 player, suddenly overcome with anxiety.  
"Um, I don't know what I meant". Shinji was staring adamantly at the desk in front of him. He was supposed to be revising for an upcoming test. 

Across from him Kaworu rested his chin in his palm and hummed.   
"I think I understand" he said and resumed his homework. 

-

"Do you hate it here?" Kaworu wasn't looking at Shinji but instead staring up at the sky. Shinji followed his gaze and tried to make out constellations. He didn't know enough about astrology to name any. 

"It's kind of cold I guess". Sitting on the roof in the middle of the night was a brilliant idea in theory. Shinji was grateful he'd thought to drag the quilt off Kaworu's bed with them and they sat under it, sides pressed together.

"That's not what I meant"

Shinji sighed, enjoying the way the cold night air bit at his lungs.   
“I know. Right now I don't hate it. The stars are pretty and it hurts to breathe so I know I'm alive,". He took Kaworu's hand in his own and curled their fingers together, "and I'm with you. I feel good"

Even in the dark Kaworu's smile was blinding. 

-

"Kaworu" Shinji whispered in to the darkness of the room. 

"Yes?" Came the quiet response. The bed dipped slightly as Kaworu rolled over. 

"Are you happy?" He asked and turned to face Kaworu'. Shinji wasn't surprised to find Kaworu was looking at him with a soft smile. 

"I'm happy when I'm with you"

"Does that mean you're sad when I'm gone?"

"Yes. If you ever go somewhere and I can't follow... I'll be very sad"

Shinji wasn't sure he understood what the other meant.   
"I promise I won't"

"I appreciate it"

They were both silent for a while, each mulling over their thoughts. Kaworu broke the silence 

"I love you Shinji"  
Shinji buried his face in his pillow and his voice was muffled when he said "I love you too"


End file.
